Don’t Squeeze the Andrea

As you may or not know, I’ve started working out again. Only this time it’s way super fabulous because I belong to a lap pool now! So I can pretend like I’m in high school again and kick ass moving water. I’ve been doing awesome, I’m very proud of myself. I started Sunday and my goal was 10 laps. I did 12. Yesterday I did 13 and today I did 15! I feel great.

But yesterday something very interesting happened to me. I was insulted by an elderly woman while trying to relax in the hot tub. In fact, I was insulted for a steady 10-15 minutes until I finally just had to leave. It started when I got out of the lap pool, feeling proud and like a million bucks for just completing my workout. Below is an outline of our conversation: I am AH and she is EW (elderly woman)

EW: Did you swim in high school?

AH: Yes! I was on a swim team *smiling*

EW: Are you on birth control?

AH: *whoa! blink* No, not at the moment.

EW: Oh, were you?

AH: *participating in the convo only to hear where this is going* Yes, I was

EW: Yea, that’s what happened to my daughter. She put on a ton of weight when she was on birth control. You need to talk to your doctor, see if they can put you on another birth control

AH: But, I’m not on birth control…

EW: Are you diabetic? You should really get tested. I have type two diabetes. Are you married?

AH: No, I don’t have diabetes and yes, I am married.

EW: Is your husband overweight too?

AH: Not really, I mean, he has a bit of a belly.

EW: Well, you should go to the doctor. It’s really a shame. Don’t let your life away. You’re such a beautiful girl and you’re so pretty.

AH: *smiles*

Then she continues to talk about her daughter and how she and her daughter lost a whole lot of weight together doing the no carb diet…blah. blah. blah.

The reason I stuck around so long was not to be insulted. I really wanted to hear where the conversation was going to head because I was hoping it wouldn’t head there. Plus, she was an elderly lady, they’re are more often than not fun to listen to.

As I was showering off and then getting dressed I couldn’t get it out of my mind. Especially the part where she says “you’re so pretty…”. So if I wasn’t “pretty” it would be okay for me to be obese? So if I were ugly or had a huge mole smack dab in the middle of my forehead it would also be okay? Would she have even felt the need to verbally accost me? And what the hell made her think it was any of her business? Did she feel like God was calling her to speak with me, to lend a helping hand? Or was it just ignorance?

I don’t know.

I am not writing this to get comments or self assurance that I’m beautiful or I look great. While I am certainly flattered that people may think that, the point of this blog is to make everyone (more) aware of discrimination and assumption based on our physical appearance. It happens to EVERYONE. Whether you are black, white, fat, skinny (she/he is anorexic) Indian, Hispanic…ugly, pretty, you name it. It’s not right, but it is what it is.

But anyway, I just really needed to share that, to get it off my chest. To move on. And to feel good about myself! No one is perfect and we can’t all look great in a swimsuit. Even the 70 year old wrinkled elderly woman. Somewhere, sometime, she was beautiful too.